Casino jokes

On this page we collect the absolute funniest jokes about casinos and games. When you yourself have tips on an enjoyable casino joke, feel absolve to send it to us at

To tip or not to tip

A blackjack player and a dealer were arguing about whether or not the player should tip the dealer.

According to the player, it had been the duty of the dealer to deal cards which didn't deserve a tip. The dealer countered this by saying, a waiter serves food up for grabs, and he gets tipped. Similarly, the dealer is entitled to be tipped too.

“Well if that's the case, the same as how the server brings me what I ask for, please serve me a 8 available now”.

The poker dog

A guy once went along to play poker and saw a dog casually playing poker. He was doing exactly what other human poker players were doing and was dealing such as for instance a pro.

This man was so shocked that he asked a spectator about any of it. “I cannot believe this dog is playing poker. It should be the smartest dog in the world! ”

“He is not so smart! ”, said the spectator. “He wags his tail each time he gets a good card and hence loses constantly! ”.

The best-made bet

A mother went along to the Church father and requested him to help her son conquer his casino gambling addiction.

She complained that he visits the casino and makes bets each day and made the lives of men and women around terrible. I'll handle him, promised the father.

After a week, he called her up and proudly said that he has cured her son of the betting addiction. “How did you do it father”, she asked awed.

I bet him that my beard was natural. He bet that it had been false. He pulled it and found it natural and had to give me $100. He lost so much money that he'll be cured of the addiction now, said the father.

“Oh father”, exclaimed the mother. “He had a bet with his brother that he'll pull your beard with your permission and won $200 yesterday! ”

Once bitten, twice shy

A sports gambler was ranting to his friends that he lost $200 betting that the particular football team would win. “What happened exactly? ”, asked his friends.

He said that he was at the match and bet $100 that the team would win and the team lost. “How did you lose the other $100? ”, the friends asked.

“Well, I also bet another $100 that the team would win at the re-telecast of the match the next day. I truly thought they'd do better the next time over”, he said.

Gambling problem

A man was seriously playing Blackjack when he looked up and saw a sign. “Call XX00XX when you yourself have problems gambling”, said the sign.

This man sighed in relief and called the number quickly. “I have a seven and an ace. The dealer has a 6. What should I do now? ”, he asked.

Card games and weddings

Are you aware that card games and weddings are very similar? In both, the players enjoy getting hearts and diamonds. After having a while, they start looking for clubs and spades!

Becoming a millionaire gambling

Did you know the two fail-proof ways to walk out of a casino as a millionaire?

  1. You walk in as a billionaire first
  2. You walk in with a mask on your face and a gun in your hand

The rich beggar

A man stands outside a casino begging for the money. “Please spare the old man $10 to buy some food”, he begs people who go inside and come out. “Make a vintage man’s tummy happy today”.

One man stopped and furiously told him that if he gave him $10, he’d probably spend it at the video slot.

“No dear sir, absolutely not. I already have my gambling money in my pocket”, he said.

The stolen credit card

A man’s credit card was stolen and another bill showed that the thief was using the card on casino games. “We have to make a complaint in law enforcement station”, said the husband furious.

“Let it go”, said the wife. “This guy seems to be winning a few games too, unlike you”.

The new millionaire

A man’s credit card was stolen and another bill showed that the thief was using the card on casino games. “We have to make a complaint in law enforcement station”, said the husband furious.

“Let it go”, said the wife. “This guy seems to be winning a few games too, unlike you”.

Losing weight by gambling

A buddy of mine said that British casinos help people lose weight easily. I did not trust him and went to check. He was true. By the conclusion of the night, I had lost 50 pounds!

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